Happy New Year
Days turn to months and they fly by me,
but memories are here to stay.

2005 had its up and downs, less ups and more downs.
Waiting to see what awaits me as I unfold the mystery of another year.


Wishing you a beautifull new year filled with love and happiness.

listening on 11:37 PM

Money does wonders.

I went to the license office today to get my driving license (for the first time) and was asked to give a little driving test to assure them folks i was eligible for it...no problemo!! Iv been driving since 2 yrz now.
An extremely confident me expertly manuevered the car in their teeny lot, parked in the designated spot and smiled triumphantly :-D
But as soon as i saw the smirking lady officer and the tyre of my car, my baloon of joy went Pop!
I had dragged one of those neon red cones all the way to the parking, and it was a mangled mess between my tyre *embarassed*
Worst, it was all recorded :-(

I got the licence though :-D *lol*

listening on 1:14 AM

Sufi poets, be it Maulana Rumi, Hafiz Shirazi or Kabir, or be it the more simpler or better yet the more 'in' sufi poets of the day thanx to our music industry, Ghalib, Buleh shah and so on. Each of these poets have a way of relating to every individual. I stumbled across few books in a very quaint little shop and on a whim purchased Diwan-e-Hafiz and Rumi's Masanvi with translations.
Often, when i staggered to understand the more complex of the verses realization dawned upon me on the duality and the immense vastness of each word and each line.
Written in persian or punjabi, each soul manages to find something that he can relate to. Life's little obstacles, its intricacies, the simpler joys of life and the greener envy and greed. Be it the precariously thin line of wonder, was this Ishq-e-Haqeeqi or Ishq-e-Majazi?

O pious of the heart, I am lost in a love, so great
O pain the hidden secrets will become open debate.
Shipwrecked we just float,
O favorable wind arise,
May we one more time gaze upon that familiar trait.
Passage of time and the stars, are but what we fantasize
For compassion and kindness, it is never too late.
In the circle of wine and roses, nightingale’s song is prize
With the aroma and the wine your senses satiate.
O Thou compassionate one, life giver and the wise
One day bestow thy grace upon this mendicant’s state.
For peace of this world and the next, understand what I advise
Magnanimity the lot of friends, and with foes try to relate.

-Hafiz

listening on 10:41 PM

Its one of those moments again when you desperately want someone to hug you while you cry your heart out, and whisper while stroking your hair that everything will be ok. Dries the wetness from the corner of the eyes before the tears fall out and adjust yr glasses back on.
Some one to flick your nose with the tip of his finger, to stretch yr sad lips in a smile and touch his forehead to yours and make the haze clear away.

listening on 10:44 PM

Its tough being weak.
Trying to avoid you, avoid making contact, not able to fully connect or break away, wishing it wasnt this way, wondering how much you know, wondering how to tell.....

Imagined you in a black high neck and a blazer sitting at yr desk...analyzing oil prices *quiet smile*
Imagined messing up your reports and enjoying the look on your face.
Imagined getting a surprise call or text from you on my special day.
Imagined..an altogther different..an altogether better life by your side.

listening on 10:38 PM

He ignores me
(Not for long)
Wont look at me
(soon I'll be gone)
They think I'm weak
(My mind is strong)
Doesn't love me
(He is wrong)

Lost in a love now,
Deep as the sea
Counting the minutes,
'till he comes to me
Darkness starts to swallow
Stabbing like a knife
But still I will be with him,
His departed life.

listening on 1:04 AM

After years of pleading and convincing, Bhaiya finally decided to give up his beloved bachelorhood, convince his folks that its about time he's married and finally did get married.
He conquered the war against my mamoo & mummani (his parents...Bhaiya actually being my cousin!) who thought he was "STILL" too young to be tied down (argh)
Now im on the confusing stage of decididng wat i'll call bhabhi...just plain Bhabhi is not at all exciting and Babs...ermm..not that either.
Another dillema is to figure out what i'll make bhaiya's kids call me :-S
Phupoo...sounds old and hagly!
sumfin more cooler like....
Fu fu?
Fi fi?

*totally confused*

listening on 9:27 PM

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents underneath the tree

I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

Hunny all I want for Christmas is you

listening on 12:02 AM

Tanhai tu bhi...
Bol Kabhi!!

Your silence is deafening...
My screams quietened.
Your eyes are wide shut,
Mine slit open forever.
the moon shines softly in your sky...
My perfect sky...?
My perfect sky is torn!

listening on 1:26 AM

Me: so wats up?
Friend: Im getting married
Me: *eeek* Thats so sudden..what when *bla bla bla*
Her: *telling the story..bla bla bla*
Me: Well, Nida and sara got married recently too
Her: yeah, so did Alina, Shazia and Saman..all of them last month
Me: What is this mating season or sumthing?? :-S

Errrmmm.....*Foot in Mouth Moni*

listening on 1:06 AM

He doesn't find the courage to tell you,
You dont findthe courage to tell him.

He doesn't take your side when facing the world
You give up fighting the world alone.

You harden your heart and dry your tears,
You repeat to you self "It was meant to be this way"

You slip a ring in a strangers finger,
and detachedly watch the world celebrate.

listening on 10:10 PM

I'll give away my dreams,

I'll decline fortune and fame,

I'll wash away all the words i ever wrote..

and snuff every last candle of hope.

I'll gladly exchange my smiles,

and drink my tears to your joy

I'll do all this...and more

Just to hear you say..I Love You

listening on 11:36 PM

Have you ever spent hours in front of the monitor
staring listlessly at the screen
with raw, red, stinging eyes?

Has your heart ever missed a beat in hope whenever someone comes online

Have you ever hoped with all that you have..that you are the person he came online for...

Have you ever wished that maybe..this time..just this time...he'll say I'll be the one to kiss your pain away.

listening on 10:19 PM

In the midst of all my madness,
You bring a shadow of a smile on me.
Im retreating into someone...
I dont ever wanna be!

=(

listening on 7:48 PM

Chubte kaantey yaadoun ke, daman se chunta hoon.
Girti deewaroun ke, saye mai..zinda hoon!

listening on 10:36 PM

*whirling thoughts of a delusioned soul*

It's becoming more evident
Much more obvious to me
I thought much more of you
Than you ever thought of me
Was this my biggest mistake
Letting myself think you cared
Was I just your marionette
With heartstrings open and bared
With me left here still thinking
What was false, what was true
So puzzling and so complex
I’m left to await another clue
On my heartstings you played
Each left with a loving memory
Yet I still have those questions
Do you ever think about me
I’m wondering why all the intrigue
Now why all of this mystery
Why am I left here hanging
Just tell me what is to be...

listening on 11:47 AM

What Do They Know

I face the world with a smile, no one knows what is hid inside.
They see only happiness, they cant see the tears I've cried.
When I am alone I hurt, because here I do it well.
In front of all the watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell.
The judge and jury awaits me, everyone has a say.
In a life that hangs suspended for yet another day.
Who are they to judge if what I have done is right or wrong?
In the end I gave him up, but inside still sing his song.
I don't know how to find the strength I thought I had.
If only I could play tough it wouldn't be so bad.
They say that life goes on and someday I'll smile again.
But, how do they know my pain without being where I've been?
I've traveled so far from home, and can't find my way back.
Somewhere along the way I must have jumped the track.
I saw him today....his smile is still the same.
He looks at me so sweetly, but never takes my name.
I wonder if he misses me... It hasn't been that long.
He may not realize it yet, but I still sing his song

listening on 11:47 AM