Nothings working out, nothing at all.
Seems fate has sworn to make things as tough as they can be for us.

Papa's not well, he is in the hospital due for surgery. A surgery for sumthing that doctor arent even able to diagnose after 20 hours of observation.
I need your prayers and moral support desperately.

listening on 8:14 PM

Untill the day i paint my masterpeice,
My soul will not be at ease.
my heart will torment me for what i couldn't do
and I will hate myself for my cowardice.

So lemme paint my love
in splashes and strokes so bold,
in shy hues of pink and blue
in stark shades of red and gold.

A bit of gray, for the sorrows we shared,
A stroke of blue, when i was without you.
A dot of lavander for the moments spent dreaming,
on a background of red for the frozen heart thats still beating.

A sky of glittering silver, for all the stars iv wished upon,
A searing arrow of black to peirce the red of my heart.
A small flame of hope for you in orange and yellow,
and there, im all done with my part.

Dreams and visions created,
but still not at ease,
Coz the canvas awaits your touch...to become a masterpeice!

listening on 10:41 PM

Tom sawyer did all sorts of no-good things just to get the girl of his dreams to reprimand him, who otherwise avoided tom like a plague. Anything to get her to come him.
Nice!!
Iv got a killer flu, king size tonsils and thermometer bursting fever ...and i just ate a raspberry ice lolly.
Feel like killing me yet?
Very nice!

listening on 1:34 PM

Finally married!
Nida's gone :( well...married and gone!

Whooooooo am i gonna talk to and0 share all my stories and secrets and tragedies and gossips with now *crying*

apart from my tantrum, Nido hunny, Wishing you a beautifull life and lots of love from your in-laws and bless me with lotsa cute cuddly nephews and nieces :)

listening on 10:43 AM

Its Nida's mehendi and nikah today, the whole air's festive.
the fragrance of henna, the tinkle of the bangles and payals, the flowers are everywhere...Some for us to wear, some to decorate.
The combined ambience of henna, flowers, bangles, bright clothes, loving smiles, the heart felt hugs shared between me n my best friend..picking out our clothes for tonite...Noticing each others moist eyes accross the room, cloaked by our expressions, the subtle way she clutched my hand n squeezed it reassuringly, then another hug and a torrent of tears all over again.

Feeling just a bit more lonelier today.

listening on 3:26 PM

I slept to dream of you, but I woke without you there. I felt like a boat with no sail being drifted away like a message in a bottle waiting to be found. Sharing and feeling what I feel now makes me ask, are you true to my heart?
I sat outside as it rained my heart numbed as the rhythm of the raindrops got louder and bigger. I'm soaked now, but I don't care as long as I know that you are true to my heart. We talk about love, we talk about caring but did we ever talk about the pain love can bring? Do we even understand love?
Love? What a word, something that makes you happy, something that makes you sad, something no one really understands, and maybe to scared to accept. Do you really understand how much my heart bleeds for you?

When I woke up, I sat thinking of you. Knowing you are my happiness, my everything.
The phone rings, I'm hoping it's you, just by the sight of you or by your voice I feel my heart sink. All I hear is your name and my heart skips a beat. But if you decide to go, I just want you to know that I will remember you, I've lost my fear of falling...I will be with you.
You have opened my heart and eyes, I will be waiting for you, but please don't keep me waiting forever!

listening on 12:02 AM

I wanna be the one you talk on the phone,
I wanna be the one you cry out for when your alone,
I wanna be the one you think of everynight
I wanna be the onewithout whome nothing seems right
I wanna be the one you can't live without,
I wanna know your everything inside and out,
I wanna be the one who your friends know your thinking of,
The only one love forever without a doubt
I just wanna be your girl... the only one in your world.

listening on 10:10 PM

After all we've been through...why am I still here?
All the hurt and pain and sheded tears.
The yellin and screamin...fussin and fightin.
The secrets and attitudes & let's not forget lying.
Days of not speakin...days of silent treatments.
Not bein able to think straight...
countless "I love and I Hates".
Not bein able to see thru the fog, not being able to see clear...
Then why am I still here?

It's because of all the joy and love
and the warmness of your hugs.
All the tears you wiped away
and how regardless of my mistakes you still stayed.
How you can always put a smile on my face and my heart.
and how this time feels like an enternity apart.

Im still here because im not the only one in love, even though i dont hear you say the words yet,
i know what lies deep within your heart. But do u think of all that too? Do u miss as much?

listening on 10:10 PM

Smiled after days coz i heard from you...
your sight made my heart miss a beat...
But started torrents of tears when you left.

My on going ramble of 'friends' wud never include the person i think of as my dearest friend..how cud u think of it that way...but wont hold it against you.
My cryptic speech is already tuff to decipher...and the distances wouldnt let u know what the feeling or motive behind each word it.
But hold on to all of this..maybe one day i'll get to explain all of it in detail *smiles*

Missing the touch of frozen yoghurt in life :(

listening on 3:16 PM

Feels like walls are moving in on me,
its suffocating.
Locked away in a world far away frm you, not knowing what you are doing, how you are?
Wondering if yr thinking about me too...?

Wish i cud hear from you in some way...when im at my loneliest!

listening on 12:36 AM

Humain itna tanha na karo
Ke ji na payien!

Wish U'd know...Wish U'd understand!

listening on 10:03 PM

U still dont know,
U havnt yet realized...

How endless is my wait?

listening on 2:23 PM

Im looking back at my life,
trying to find one wrong deed which i may have done to deserve this,
one incident when i may have walked out on someone or caused a teary eye...one moment when i didnt try to make someone smile or forget their worries...
sadly i couldn't find any

I blamed people, fate, myself, I protested to GOD, pleaded to him..requested...to no availThey say its a test... wat kind of a test is this?? They say, HE puts the ones he loves thru obstacle strews paths... that too doesn't make any sense to me

Now.. i'm standing by the shore braving against each wave that rushes towards me furiously but each dying as they touch my feet.. is this wat life is all about??
When I was at the pinnacle. i had milllions of faces smiling with me, lots of people to lean on, many to enjoy my life with...but the moment I felt my world slip from under my feet they all died like these waves.

I can hear the ocean calling my name.. far far away the full moon is beckoning me... I start to walking towards it...it feels so right.
Just as i the shore fell into nothingness, the waves embraced me with swirling arms...the same waves that were dying @ my feet were now welcoming me into their kingdom, loving me as their very own I feel free...more free then i ever had in my life time.Im gonna like my new home
Tomorrow.. they may miss me.. they may not.. they'll say she was a nice person... they'll probably shed a tear or two or gossip about what may have driven me to such psychotic frenzy.. but then the day after... they'll go back to their lives without realizing that it was them who drove me to these heights...

For the last time I turned towards the shore and extended my hand...but there was no one there to take it...the waves felt my despair, rose in rage at all those who braught me pain..They rose to cover my eyes so I'd stop looking back, the enveloped me and cradled me into their loving arms, they pulled me into their depths ...to take me into their kingdom, to love me as their very own.

listening on 10:29 PM

...and that explains the wierd way my blog had been acting.
Some how, some one bungled up all my blog settings and me, being the slob that i am when it come to computers messed it up even further.
Painstakingly i tried uploading different skins a multitude of times but if my net didnt betray me, the template wudnt work.
Finally managed to get this skin up and workin while i try to customize one..for me..by me :-D

bear till then!

listening on 8:47 PM